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Steven Furman Date of Birth: September 13, 1960 Our family mourns the loss of a kind, honest, generous, brilliant, principled and religious man, and the father of four children. Steven joined Cantor Fitzgerald’s TradeSpark division in April 2001 to build their growing electricity options brokerage business. He had been an energy options trader on the New York Mercantile Exchangefor 13 years prior to that. Steven was the busiest person I ever knew. He awoke at 4:45 AM to daven before work, and usually didn’t return home until 7 pm. I remember when he once briefly shut down his internet account, explaining to me that he could make better use of the time he had been spending online reading and answering email. Yet he always found time to help others, and that was what my brother was all about. He was insistent on doing “mitzvahs” for people. He received great pleasure from this, and from his extremely charitable ways. He wouldn’t have had it any other way. I think back to the innocence of our childhood, when my brothers and I played all those board and card games. We were a competitive bunch ! I eventually realized it was nearly impossible for me to win any card game when Steven played because he was a genius, and flat outplayed me. I didn’t always accept the outcome graciously…. He was much humbler in victory than I was in defeat. It’s hard to believe I am writing about my brother in the past tense. Who will calculate ( in less than 2 minutes) whether I should buy or lease my car, or refinance my home ? Who will recite lines from the Odd Couple “Password” episode just to hear me chuckle ? (“Everyone knows Aristophanes wrote a play called “The Birds.” “Everyone but ME, Felix!”). Who will remind me that tomorrow will be a better day when I’ve had a lousy one ? Steven was 2 days shy of his 41st birthday when g-d took him from us. May he rest in peace.
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Our family mourns the loss of a kind, honest, generous, brilliant, principled and religious man, and the father of four children.
Steven joined Cantor Fitzgerald’s TradeSpark division in April 2001 to build their growing electricity options brokerage business. He had been an energy options trader on the New York Mercantile Exchange for 13 years prior to that.
Steven was the busiest person I ever knew. He awoke at 4:45 AM to daven before work, and usually didn’t return home until 7 pm. I remember when he once briefly shut down his internet account, explaining to me that he could make better use of the time he had been spending online reading and answering email. Yet he always found time to help others, and that was what my brother was all about. He was insistent on doing “mitzvahs” for people. He received great pleasure from this, and from his extremely charitable ways. He wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I think back to the innocence of our childhood, when my brothers and I played all those board and card games. We were a competitive bunch! I eventually realized it was nearly impossible for me to win any card game when Steven played because he was a genius, and flat outplayed me. I didn’t always accept the outcome graciously…. He was much humbler in victory than I was in defeat.
It’s hard to believe I am writing about my brother in the past tense. Who will calculate ( in less than 2 minutes) whether I should buy or lease my car, or refinance my home? Who will recite lines from the Odd Couple “Password” episode just to hear me chuckle? (“Everyone knows Aristophanes wrote a play called “The Birds.” “Everyone but ME, Felix!”). Who will remind me that tomorrow will be a better day when I’ve had a lousy one?
Steven was 2 days shy of his 41st birthday when g-d took him from us. May he rest in peace.
Steven was truly one of the kindest men I have ever met. His warmth, his caring and his gentle spirit were an inspiration to all who knew him. In Steven, our world has lost a very special individual. He will be missed not only by his family, but by all whose lives he touched.
I had the pleasure of working with Steve for over five years. He was a keen mind and a kind heart. Always quick to help when he could, he was truly a generous man. I remember he was always excited about what he was doing, no matter what, whether it was making a trade or paying to see the flop. “John, have you seen this one-by-five?” What a nice guy. It makes me smile to think of him. Hurricane Steven will be missed.
It means so much to my brother Michael, my sister Jayne, my father Marvin, and me to have so much family and so many friends here at the memorial for our brother, Steven Furman. There are people who are not here today that are with us in spirit, offering their prayers and support for all of us. I am thinking about my mother specifically, who is too ill to travel from Las Vegas. She will receive a taped version of the service so that she can hear our words and be strengthened and comforted by the support of everyone here in this room today. To all of you and to all of them, we say thank you.
There are a lot of things I admired about my brother. Just the other day I was thinking about how the Nets were doing really well at 7-1, and I was considering jumping off the Knick bandwagon. If Steven were here he would be calling me on that, just the same way he would when we were growing up and I would flip between the Yankees and the Mets. “Don’t be a fair weather friend,” he would say to me. He believed in loyalty, and obviously not just about sports teams. That was a thread that ran through his whole life. He was loyal to his wife, his four children, his family, his friends, to G-d, to everyone around him.
I could spend a lot of time talking about all of Steven’s wonderful qualities… his powerful intellect, his delight in using that to solve problems, find bargains, to play the game of life. He could recite lines from television shows from 30 years ago, he could figure out in his head whether it was better to buy or to lease a car, he had a passion and talent for talmudic study that earned him the respect of his peers in his community. For some people, faith and intellect are at odds. For Steven, each complemented the other, and religion was truly the passion that animated his entire life.
Part of that passion for Steven was Zeriz La Mitzvah. This is a Hebrew term which means an eagerness to do good for others. Steven WAS Zeriz La Mitzvah. If you did not know him, I hope you leave here today knowing this one critical thing about who he was: He was driven to do good deeds for others.
Stories abound at how Steven helped others, and almost nothing would stop him from this mission. I simultaneously admired and was confounded by how this zeal translated into lost sleep or neglect of his own affairs. Let me share just a few stories with you.
Steven played chaffeur quite often. He would drive one of the local elderly men around town regularly so that the man could do his errands. And he drove another man, Rabbi Tropper, to and from dates that he was having with what would turn out to be Rabbi Tropper’s wife.
Then there was the time when Jayne gets a call from a friend, begging her to find the Bergen Record newspaper. “I think I see a picture of your brother. Is that him?” Much to our shock, there it was, a picture of our brother walking the civilian night patrol, leading an effort to make his town’s neighborhoods safer. Jayne and I wondered aloud at what expense this kind of effort was costing.
Speaking of expense, a friend of Steven’s who was a student had no financial support, so Steven helped him with money so that the person could continue with his studies.
Then there was the story of a young couple, newlyweds, both of whom had little in the way of anything substantial. The man had few clothes that were nice, and did not have a suit. Steven, through a rabbi, bought a new suit for the man and had the gesture performed anonymously. It remained anonymous until two days ago when Steven’s wife Chavi shared the story with my wife Erica and me.
The stories go on and on. Anyone who knew Steven would have these stories.
Since Sep 11th, I have struggled to come to terms with my feelings of loss, my regret at what will never come to be for him and his family. I have desperately searched for a way to find hope and inspiration amidst this tragedy. I have found that inspiration in the intersection of what he gave and now what is being given back to his family. On a national level, we have all seen outpouring of concern and generosity to the thousands of victims and their families. Speaking for the Furmans, I can only tell you that we have been truly touched and awed by the way that that love has surrounded us in the last two months.
My brother never did a mitzvah just to get something back. But if life is a circle, then it is heartening to see how his caring has been returned many times over by friends, family, and even strangers.
There are so many stories of generosity, and each one has a name attached to it. If I talked about each mitzvah that everyone in this sanctuary has performed since Sept 11th, I could be here all day. I want to share three of them with you briefly…
First, there were the efforts made at the New York Mercantile Exchange. Steven had been a member of the exchange for roughly 13 years before going to work for Cantor Fitzgerald in April of this year. The fact that he was no longer a member did not stop the exchange’s charitable foundation from reaching out and pledging their assistance to his family.
Second, there was the story of a man in San Diego, CA who wanted to find a family and make a donation directly. He called a friend in New Jersey, Chan Peterson, who thereupon spoke with his rabbi, John Schechter, who happens to be the husband of our Hazzan, Erica Lippitz. Rabbi John knew of our story, and the next thing you know, a very nice stranger on the other side of the country is helping out my brother’s family.
Lastly, there is the story of some friends of my sister’s who went to bat for Steven’s family. Let me read from their card…
“Dear Jayne,
Our havarrat, a group of roughly six families who gather once a month to give our children an understanding of the Jewish Heritage, came together for a Tag Sale to donate the money to Steven’s fund. The children all donated toys, clothes, and books of their own, and families who are not in the havarrat also donated when they heard about it…”
(The card also contained the pictures of the Tag Sale with kids selling their toys to raise money for a family they barely know.)
For me personally, while I always admired what Steven did for others, prior to Sep 11th, I did not always see the world with the same vision as he did. Since this tragedy, the outpouring of love, support, and caring that I have seen, that my family has received, and that this country has witnessed, has proved to me that Steven’s view of people was right. Steven saw the good in everyone. Steven’s values … Zeriz La Mitzvah, this is his legacy and our model to follow.
I worked with Steven on NYMEX, and was constantly refreshed by his company. Steven never lost his pespective or his integrity. In a highly competitive and pressured work place as the commodities exchange, Steven remained even-tempered and calm. Steven created a Kiddush Hashem (sanctification of G-d’s name) as people admired his steadfast commitment to truth and honesty.In my acquaintance with Steven I am able to say that I fulfilled the words of the Torah which instructs us to acquire a friend from whom we can take an example how to live correctly. To Andy and Jayne I extend my sympathy to you and your family on this great loss. Steven was a unique person, and you are blessed to have been a part of him. BRCE
I had an internship over the summer at Cantor Fitzgeald working with Steve, and just like his brother has said, Steve was helpful. Steve had found us the fastest, simplest route to work and during the commute was able to answer many of my questions about work and life. What he had always made clear was that family is very important and that he loved his.
Vito
I worked with Steven for 13 years on the New York Mercentile Exchange and what impressed me most about Steven was the way he carried himself. He was a very quiet, fine and unassuming young man. On the trading floor where we worked he stood out for his truth, honesty and integrity.
He will be remembered for being funny and serious, thoughtful and very smart. But most of all he will be remembered for being a nice guy. A very quiet, very fine and very unassuming nice guy. May he rest in peace.
May his memory be a blessing to all of us.
Mosze Szlafrok EMES
I traded with Steven for 5 years. He taught me much, not just about trading, but about the capabilities of the human spirit. What was most surprising was the amount of integrity he had and his ability to see the good in those around him. He steadfastly stood by his principles even when they were threatened. He was the most honest man I have known and I will miss him for it.
Steven, or as we referred to him by his Hebrew name Eliahu, was a member of our family since he married our sister fourteen years ago. He came from a loving and wonderful family who we were privileged to come to know and was without a question indeed a “Tzadik”, or a very holy person who was uncompromising with his dealings with man or G-d. He was very close to us and spent many a holiday and Sabbath with our family in Baltimore and as Passover is fast approaching, this is the first time in many years that although his wife Chavie and children will be with us, we will not have the physical presence of Eliahu. He always thanked us for every minor detail of hospitality and was careful of the feelings of every individual. Indeed, almost every time he came one of his children would take ill and as a very concerned father would make sure to check out their illness, usually with my doctor friend, Sondra. Sondra is another very special person who as a local pediatrician does many favors without expecting any payment especially from out of town visitors. When I told her about Eliahu being a victim of September 11th, she cried and told me that after every visit, Eliahu always sent her a large check in appreciation that he insisted she take.
Uncle Eliahu was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. I remember how he’d visit and we’d talk after about how impressed we all were with his character traits, his honesty, his kindness, his love for everyone. He was extra careful to never hurt anyone’s feelings, and was considerate in everything he did. One of his greatest joys was helping people and making others happy. He loved his family and only wanted to do what was good for them. It’s almost ironic – he loved life and people so much, and his was cut so short. There are a few small stories that come to my mind as I’m writing this. He used to love sitting in the middle of our long table since there would be people on both ends asking for different items to be passed back and forth. He called his seat the ‘mitzvah seat’, and said he wanted the opportunity to help as many people as he could. I remember how his eyes used to light up – literally – when one of his children would report back to him how they had helped a friend, cleared a table, picked up a piece of trash – whatever. He was just so proud of them and really got pleasure out of their good deeds or cute antics. I learned so much from him and I’ll always think of him. I hope I’ll be able to incorporate some of what he taught me into my own life and pass it on to others as well. In this way, the impression that he left me and this world will never be forgotten. I miss him so much.
I grew up with Steven. In fact, I still have a vivid picture of him sitting across from me at a little table in kindergarten.
We attended many classes together throughout Elementary school. I remember more than once being paired off against each other as finalists in a spelling contest (and dreading the thought of having to face such a formidible opponent). I remember being in many a math class with him too. He was always exceptional at math, eventually scoring a 790 on his SATs.
But beyond being an extremely bright person he was, literally, the gentlest person I ever met. In fact, he was so gentle and sensitive that boys sometimes picked on him. It didn’t seem to change his personality, however. He was always happy-go-lucky, always happy to be nice.
Our paths continually crossed in amazingly synchronistic ways over the years. Not only did we sit in many of the same classes all the way from Kindergarten through High School, but after his first year in College he transferred to my College (independently of me). Later, after I took on Torah observance, he, again independently of me, become observant too and even ended up in the same small Yeshiva I was attending!
Interestingly, even though I began learning before he did he taught me a very appropos law about Sabbath observance. A mosquito was buzzing about my head and I raised my hand to smash it when he said, “You can’t kill even an insect on Shabbos.”
And that describes him perfectly. He is literally the guy who wouldn’t hurt a fly.
It’s hard to imagine his murderers targeting a more harmless, peaceful person. Hard to imagine.
Eight months after his death, more than 1,000 people attended euologies for him in the local boy’s yeshiva. Afterward, we drove to the cemetery. The heavy, gloomy skies reflected the mood of the event. As I arrived I saw them putting the first shovelfulls of dirt into his grave (as per local customs, this was being done by the mourners).
As the grave was three quarters full it started to rain, and it seemed as if God was crying with those gathered. An acquaintance to my left generously placed his umbrella over me. I asked him how he knew Steven. He said he was his neighbor. Then he asked me how I knew him and I said I had gone to kindergarten with him.
All of a sudden, the person directly behind said, “I thought that was you. Hi, Donnie Goldshein.”
Donnie, like Steven, had been together with me from Kindergarten through High School, also eventually transferring to my College, and eventually becoming observant, with connections to the same Yeshiva! We hadn’t seen in other in more than a decade.
But the threads of synchronicity (hashagacha pratit in Hebrew) seemed to be intertwining in that moment. Steven, Donnie and I are the only three people who attended the same Elementary, Junior High, High School, College and Yeshiva. And here we were, brought to within literally inches of each other, one more, one last, time.
Call me a religious fanatic. But I felt God’s presence.
“Better the house of mourning than the house of mirth,” Solomon wrote. Sometimes we find God more clearly in times of sadness than in times of happiness.
Even in death Steven’s righteous personality was at work, temporarily reuniting the disparate strings that were our lives, reminding us that even in our sadness there is a reason for hope: God is here. There is goodness even in our sadness. These are the ideas Steven dedicated his life to.
May his memory be a blessing for us.